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Time to dust off the trusty Spotlight 'O Terror!
by Steve    teambio.org
Entered into the database on Thursday, August 10th, 2006 @ 13:08:59 MST


Untitled Document

Green - Low: This setting is here just as a reference point. DHS will never use it because it would me we didn’t need them anymore.

Blue - Guarded: This rarely used setting on the Stoplight ‘O Terror could indicate things like an undocumented worker within 3 square miles of the president.

Yellow - Elevated: This is the standard level of fear. Don’t expect to see anything lower than this as long as the Regressives are in office. Be scared, but not too scared to vote Republican.

Orange - High: Chertoff heard that someone in the CIA’s brother’s boss’ nephew’s sister-in-law heard about a plan to blow up Amish Country Popcorn Factory in Berne Indiana. It’s ok to pee your pants at this level.

Red - Severe: OMFGPWNBBQ!!!1! A terror attack was recently narrowly averted. We can’t release any details but just be thankful we saved your asses. Used frequently before midterm elections. See October Surprise.


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