June 7, 2005
Sir Bob Geldof is going to present another of his every-so-often music extravaganzas.
A concert for the world's poor. Wow oh wowee! We are certainly blessed. The
world's poor are certainly blessed. I'll bet the world's poor are just holding
their collective breath, all a twitter and goosepimply in anticipation.
Let us all now pray that the world's poor can hold on just a little bit longer
and possibly find just enough to eat while the world's obscenely rich chic and
trendy get their show on the road and hold that fabulous concert for the world's
poor. The world's poor will just have to eat rocks during the interim.
Sir Bob has been knighted by the Queen of England. Yup, Sir Bob holds the Order
of the Snappy Garter as given by Her Royal Highness Lizzie the Deuce from Windsor.
That is some rarified air that Sir Bob hangs out in.
He is inviting a few of his close and personal friends to come over and get
jiggy with it for the world's poor -- Sir Paul McCartney, Bono, Sting, Madonna
(I think she got an invite), and well, a veritable galaxy of those fabulously
famous and indulged-to-excess rock luminaries. They are all coming out for the
world's poor. That is just too extra special. That is just fabulously humane
of the world's richest rock pampered and social elite.
Just in case you are one of a slightly younger social order, Sir Bob Geldof
was a rock star back in the eighties and fronted a band named the Boomtown Rats.
Sir Bob made a mountain of money from the Boomtown Rats and transformed that
pile o'bucks into some spectacular investments and presto, Midas was jealous.
Sir Bob gave up the rock circuit and became a humanitarian, which in the everyday
vernacular means that once in a while Sir Bob gives some of his fabulously famous
piles of money away and holds a concert with a few of his special rock friends
and pats himself on the back and waits for Queen Lizzie to punch him up a new
garter or whatever.
Sir Bob amassed such an amazingly fabulous mountain of money, Sir Bob bought
himself an English estate. He probably named it Castle Boomtown, but so far
as I know Sir Bob has never hosted the world's poor at his castle for a little
pate soiree. Nope, the impoverished aren't up to the proper snuff and being
mostly of a dirty sort, it would rankle the neighbors to let the world's poor
into the castle.
So, Sir Bob comes down from the castle every so often and does the world's
poor one famously fabulous favor and puts on a concert with his fabulously famous
pals. The world's poor, of course, do not get invitations to the concert. Why
is that? And no, there have been no extra food deliveries to the world's poor
during their interminable wait for Bob‘s spectacular. Schedules have to
be checked and Sir Bob's people have to get in touch with all of the other people's
people and there are the meetings and sushi, wine with cheese affairs, and power
meetings over latte. Complications, oh those accursed complications.
Sir Bob is going to pull off multiple concerts for the world's poor all around
the world, and that would be England and America -- one or two concerts in the
Isles and six, I believe, in the good old U.S. of A. Oh, be still my beating
heart! Now stay with me for just a tirade or two as this gets better by the
Brad Pitt, Hollywood heartthrob, bon vivant, suave, debonair, and fabulously
famous as well as famously attractive wonder boy, is involved as well as Sir
Bob. Pitt's thing here in America is called the “One” movement.
I'm willing to bet that some Madison Avenue research marketing firm billed Pitt
and his associates simply fabulously astonishing amounts of money to come up
with that gem.
Now, you may have seen some of their movements commercials or “public
service announcements” on television. Maybe not, but they run pictures
of the “stars” that are involved and what do you know? Right there
in the middle of Pitt's amazing humanitarian gesture for the world's poor is
the Rev. Pat Robertson. Yes, that Rev. Pat Robertson, of the homophobic, hate-mongering,
and Bush-supporting Robertsons. Robertson must have had some sort of epiphany
thing or Pitt has gotten the good Rev absolutely stoned out of his mind and
it was all a trick. Seeing that Robertson was involved with Pitt, turned me
off right then.
Now here's the thing. These concerts for the world's poor, disaster-ed, tragedy
prone, and horribly suffering are, I suppose, a good thing. The problem is,
the poor and suffering don't see the money that is made from these poignant
events. All of the “stars” that throw in on these events are paid
by the concert promoters. Oh yes, it's true. The “stars” put up
a nice face that their time is “donated,” but it's a lie. The “stars”
are given tax write-offs, plush little extras, appearance fees, a slice of the
profits from any music that is marketed, and their travel expenses are paid
by the concert promoters, so these “charity” affairs are, in very
real fact, not charity at all.
These affairs are “feel good protocols” for elites who have entirely
too much, so they need a little salve for those pained souls of theirs. It is
all bullshit. If Sir Bob, Brad Pitt, Bono, Sir Paul, Madonna, and the legions
who hang with our upper crust were concerned even in the least, they would just
collect one huge bucket full of their easily acquired wealth and make a trip
to Sam's Club and buy the goods necessary for the world's poor to live on. Give
it to Doctors Without Borders, the International Red Cross, the Red Crescent,
or any number of actual charity organizations that do real and on-the-spot work.
Then, the “stars” can go back to their swank digs and keep a low
profile until the next whatever-it-is that those fabulously famous and trendy
Now, I need to make one of those colossal existential leaps of spleen here
and tie in another issue that has got me full volume maximum pissed off. I received
an email “notice of pending action” thing from the Act Now to Stop
War and End Racism coalition, that is in coalition with United for Peace and
Justice, that is in coalition with the Rainbow Coalition, that is in coalition
with a collective of Quakers who are thinking about forming a coalition for
a cooperative coalition of peace activists and hangers-on from the Democrats
that are in coalition with absolutely nobody. The end result of their “pending
notice of action” email is this: On September 24, 2005, we're all going
to hold another protest. On September 24, 2005? Hmmm, I don't know but, what
are all these coalitions waiting on?
I'm curious to know exactly how many innocent Iraqi people will have died or
will have been “disappeared” by our marvelous and fabulously famous
military coalition of the willing, by September 24, 2005. I'm fairly certain
that the Iraqi people couldn't give a rat's ringlet what the anti-war coalitions
are doing on that date. I'm fairly certain that the Iraqi people are dying today,
and that the Iraqi people are being “disappeared” right now by our
very own coalition of the vehemently brutal.
Jeez kids, what in the hell is your hurry? I know, it's the barbecue season.
I know, it's the vacation season. I know, there isn't a presidential election
pending so the Democratic Party's enthusiasm is more than a mite spent. But
come this September 24, well, everyone should be all heads-up by then.
It is bullshit. The entire anti-war movement is bullshit, and let's not mince
metaphors over pending protests.
Geldof and the concert for the world's poor, coupled with a pending September
24, 2005 protest of genocide in Iraq seems just a trifle disingenuous. Accursed
scheduling problems, yeah that's the ticket. What bullshit!
A final thought and parting shot. Hell Sir Bob, how come Snoop Dogg isn't on
your program? How come Steve Harvey isn't on your program?
Hell Bono, I saw that news clip of you and Condoleezza Rice walking together.
What a cute picture. I know the gendarmes won't let anyone give that genocidal
bitch the solid soccer-hooligan-style headbutt she deserves, square between
her evil eyes, but how could any decent human being stand next to her without
at least shouting at her? I could have worlds of respect for you, Bono, had
you done that. Can you imagine all of the innocent Iraqi women and children
Rice has managed to facilitate in death? Hell, Bono, maybe you can't.