The following, of course, is fiction:
General Z - Our last bit of film of Osama, before the 2004
election, worked wonders for the president. I want to congratulate everyone
General X - What are our aims for this new tape?
Colonel Y - Number one: We want to damage these Hamas people.
So we try to make a link between Osama and Hamas.
Number two: we want to make it clear that Israel is on our
side. We get Osama to rant against 'Zionist Crusaders'. That links Christians
and Zionists. Christians are to see Zionists as their buddies.
Number three: our Danish cartoon operation worked well.
So we get Osama to stir up the issue once more. We emphasise the link between
Moslems and intolerance.
Number four: the president is thinking increasingly about
the oil in Africa. The Darfur issue has made Moslem Sudan look less than perfect.
So we get Osama to support the Sudan.
Number five: the president's poll numbers keep on sinking.
Osama will mention Iraq. That makes the Iraq business look like a fight against
General Z - Are we still using the same bod to play the part
of Osama. He doesn't look quite right to me.
Colonel Y - We're working on it. We'll make the tape quite